


Theory

by Tezca



Category: Sherlock Holmes (2009) RPF
Genre: Alien AU, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-09
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:31:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel comes up with an theory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theory

“So let me get this straight....chocolate gets Aelonians drunk?” Jude asked. He was calling Susan from a closet at the place the latest Academy Awards show was being held at.

Just minutes earlier he was walking around backstage to where the snacks were at hoping to get a little something before going to his seat. He started to walk to his seat when the lights suddenly flickered on and off, Jude panicked a bit and rushed back to find Robert, hoping he didn’t accidentally created a surge. 

Jude was looking around searching for Robert and he was calling out his name to no avail. The next few minutes were a blur to him and all he really remembers at the moment was the lights going off and on again, noticing Robert appear out of nowhere on stage and him speaking in his alien tongue.

Next thing he knew he was hugging Rachel close to him in a corner of a closet and calling Susan.

“Well...,” Susan said figuring out how to explain it, “more like a little drunk, high and emotionally sensitive..more than usual.”

“Like PMS?” Rachel asked.

“Exactly.” Susan answer, causing her to laugh.

“I somehow think that isn’t a good thing when one has powers.” Jude said, causing a chuckle to come from the other line.

“Just stay put until I come there ok?” Susan instructed before hanging up.

“You think he’ll get the munchies?” Rachel asked, smiling as she faced Jude while giggling.

“I don’t know.” Jude laughed a bit, imagining an alien with munchies, especially one with a diet Robert’s kind has.

“Can you imagine him with the munchies though?” Rachel asked, laughing as well.

“Oh God hahaha somehow I think that’ll involve paying back damages and a pissed off Susan.”

The two just sat there and laughed while staring at the wall opposite them as they listen to the faints sounds coming from the theater.

“What do you think is going on in their?” Rachel asked, after 5 minutes had passed. Jude thought for a second before replying.

“Probably trying to explain why the name should be changed to the Robert Downey Jr Awards.” Jude said smiling.

“My theory is more exciting than yours,” Rachel retorted, causing Jude to glare at her, “I say he is getting everyone under their mind control to form an army to take over the world.”

“Really?”

“Just think about it Jude. they can eat metal right?”

“Yeah...” Jude was kinda unsure where the Canadian was going with this.

“Think about it, all he and his alien friends have to do to subject us puny mortals to do their bidding is to threaten to deplete the world’s supply of metal and minerals.”

“I don’t think Robert would be that high to do that.”

“Yeah..yeah, but lets just say hypothetically he wasn’t affected, but it turns out he and his sister, who came out of hiding, were really evil.”

“....How many did you have Rachel?” Jude asked staring at Rachel, knowing that he had spotted her drinking some wine earlier.

“Only 2 and a half, anyways back to my theory Robert and Allyson are really evil, evil aliens, bent on taking over Earth!”

“Ok..”

“They were told at first to just observed us, but they decided it would be very easy to manipulate us humans and control us. So over the years they become corrupted...”

“What about Susan?”

“They didn’t tell her. So after a few practices here and there they came up with a decade long plan and tonight was the night they were start phase one.”

“You mean this would be phase one?” Jude asked, as Rachel nodded.

“Yep, putting tons of people under their mind control and telling them to overthrow the American government. The Oscars are televised so their control would reach out to a sizeable group, but they would have to have the entire country under their power, enter phase two, elected Robert as President.”

“I see. So if I had to guess, phase two would involve doing a state of the union address, which is filmed also as you and I know, and getting Congress and more people to join their army?”

“Correct, Allyson would be elected Vice President..”

“Would that be nepotism?”

“Doesn’t matter to them. They are evil, Earth hating aliens,” The two were currently drinking more beer as Rachel found some hidden in some boxes.

“Right,” Jude took another swig of his beer before he continued, “So they would start talking to the other governments...”

“Correct.”

“Manipulate them one at a time, starting with Canada...”

“Why Canada first?! Why not England?”

“Canada is closer.”

“True...”

“Persuade the PM to let them take over Canada then do the same to England and then the rest of the world, then they would import all of our precious metal back to their planet then...”

“They’ll finally destroy Earth,” Rachel finished for Jude as he finished his drink, "So now we have to figure out how to stop him!”

Rachel had stood up when she practically yelled the last part of her sentence. She stumbled a bit before catching her balance as did Jude when he got up.

“We have to get one of those...those packs the Ghostbusters used.” Rachel said, looking at Jude’s face.

“They were for capturing ghosts, not aliens.”

“Oh, then how do we defeat the aliens?”

‘By giving them a kiss I believe.” A voice rang out in the room that immediately startled the two humans. It was Robert who was standing in the doorway with an amused grin on his face, as he suddenly appeared out of thin air.

“H..how long were you there Robert?” Jude asked, visibly embarrassed.

“Long enough to hear about my evil, evil plan..” Robert replied, chuckling as he walked up to where the two were, “Hmm it would make for an interesting movie now that I think about it.”

After Robert emitted some kind of aura spell in order to bring Jude and Rachel back to sober, the three walked back to the theatre where everybody and everything seemed to be frozen in place. They were walking back to their assigned seats when Susan intercepted Jude and Rachel, telling Robert that they were be there shortly.

“So what happened exactly?” Rachel asked, looking around for a second before looking back at Susan.

“Well he was out of it due to the chocolate he ate, told him not to eat that many next time. When I got here, I found him trying to convince everyone in the audience why he should win best actor, “ She signed as she rolled eyes, causing the other two to gently laugh, “He doesn’t remember any of that stuff. I told him afterwards to get you two while I took care of the people here.”

Susan went on to explain that the other people won’t remember a thing and it would be like nothing happened. Jude and Rachel nodded and went to their seat and before long Jude found himself back home with Robert getting ready for bed.

Robert was undressing when Jude playfully snuck up behind him, grabbed Robert by the shoulders and spun him around to plant a kiss on him before pulling away grinning.

“I kissed you, that means I defeated the evil alien.” Jude said, laughing as Robert got a little mischievous smirk on his grin.

“You really think a kiss will defeat me?” Robert asked, teasingly, “I shall make you pay puny human haha.” Robert said, grabbing a pillow from the bed.

Jude then gave out a little laugh, “That’s your alien weapon of choice?”

Robert looked at the pillow for a second before facing Jude while stating a serious, “Yes,” pausing before charging at him ready to whack him with the pillow.

Jude defended himself with a pillow of his own and they spend the next 15 minutes having a pillow fight before collapsing on the bed.

They were both almost off to dreamland when Robert spoke, laying closely up to Jude, “You can’t kiss an entire army of aliens, so what would be your backup plan?”

Jude thought for a second before replying, “Defeat you all by making the army fall under the spell of my British charms.” Robert then laughed which in turn cause Jude to laughing as well before they finally fell asleep in each other arms.


End file.
